Greetings, Miss MannersAn opera performance at the Palais Garnier was one of the highlights of our trip to Paris. With two short intermissions, Cherubini’s opera Medee lasts more than four hours.
In the first loge, we were seated in a box with three pairs of seats behind us and two front chairs. The box’s occupants must sit in sequence from front to back in order to prevent crawling over one another because there isn’t an aisle. We were the last to leave the box and required to be seated first.
We couldn’t make the trip to the concessions in time for any refreshments during the first interval. Just before the return to your seats bell rang during the second intermission, we hurried to buy a little snack and a glass of champagne.
Our box mates were waiting for us to take our seats so they could do the same when we rushed back to our seats with our treats. Our options appeared to be: A. make everyone wait while we ate our refreshments; B. place our belongings on the floor to resume our seats as there were no trash cans nearby; or C. bring the goods inside with us and finish them before the show started up again.
We decided that option C was the most logical choice because there were no ushers or signs to provide direction. Apparently, this was a mistake since almost at once a young man from a nearby box reached over the railing and yelled, “This is the opera!” This isn’t finished!
What is the wisest course of action, in Miss Manners’ opinion? Eating before the show is obviously a possibility, but it’s not always easy to eat fast in a Parisian restaurant.
GENTLE READER: Yelling reprimands at other operagoers is the main instance of rudeness here.
Miss Manners acknowledges that an opera house is unlike a movie theater, even though she does not think that art should be starved. You wouldn’t want to be surrounded by people munching on popcorn, even though Handel himself performed at gatherings.
She is not beyond slipping food into opera theaters, though. As an alternative to the more expensive fare, takeout food that can be eaten during intermission is available even in Paris.
Greetings, Miss MannersIs it appropriate to make remarks about a coworker’s recent hairstyle or clothing choices? To put things in perspective, I work primarily with women and am a man.
I would only ever post compliments like “I love that jacket” or “I like your new hairstyle.” I would never express disapproval of the other person or use my comments to express romantic interest in them.
GENTLE READER: Don’t, then.
There might be some women who are enchanted. Additionally, some women could believe that they are there to work rather than to have their appearance evaluated, even in a positive way. When you get a haircut, do they make comments?
Miss Manners advises you to use your charm to compliment your coworkers on their exceptional work.
Miss Manners can be reached by email at [email protected], via her website at www.missmanners.com, or by mail at Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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