Greetings, Miss MannersI had dinner with my wife at a recently opened restaurant. The server inquired about how things were near the end of the meal.
I responded that although my entrée—chicken parm over spaghetti—was excellent, it was difficult to eat from the deep cast-iron dish it had been baked in and then served in.
I found it strange that my wife, who is a very vocal woman, reprimanded me for expressing this. She remarked that since the wait staff has no control over the serving plates, I should have just mentioned how delicious the food was. She seems to be saying that I should only speak if it’s a complement.
PERSONAL READER:The restaurant-customer relationship is mistaken for a social one by your wife and almost everyone else.
Restaurants are establishments that sell prepared meals, regardless of how welcoming the ambiance is as a place to socialize. The proprietors of this new restaurant especially want you to recommend it and come back.
Therefore, it is not only appropriate but also helpful to express any issues in restaurants in a courteous manner, even though it would be impolite to critique a private host’s meal. Instead of taking offense, a waiter should reassure you that the feedback is helpful and will be shared.
The fact that many people treat private hosts the same way they would a company, dictating or criticizing the menu, stealing leftovers, and even neglecting to show up after accepting invites, is what Miss Manners finds more confusing than your wife’s perplexity. For real fear of getting charged, they might not dare do the latter to a restaurant.
Greetings, Miss MannersI have a crippling illness that prevents me from working in the heat for longer than a few minutes. My problems worsen if I’m in the heat for any longer. I was given a disability diagnosis because it’s so awful.
I use a sun umbrella to provide a little shade from the sun when I’m strolling between buildings at work or in parking lots. When I do this, I frequently get nasty remarks from people asking when the rain will come. or worse, or something like that.
What kind of answer would be suitable for these queries or remarks?
GENTLE READER: You’re ridiculous! It’s a parasol!
Greetings, Miss MannersAt this stage of our lives, my fiancé and I receive invitations to weddings on a regular basis, most of which are destination weddings. Despite the fact that the flights and accommodations are more expensive for visitors, our friends, the majority of whom are wealthy, frequently decide to get married in Europe (or another distant location) in order to save money.
One especially egregious example is the daughter of a centimillionaire who decided to arrange her wedding overseas in order to save money and give her guests a chance to vacation.
My fiancé and I believe that this conduct is impolite and self-serving. What are your thoughts?
PERSONAL READER:that all you have to do is turn down the invitation, which will save them money. They and the invitees should save a significant amount of money if everyone declines. This seems like a win-win scenario to Miss Manners.
Miss Manners can be reached by email at [email protected], via her website at www.missmanners.com, or by mail at Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
Other advice columns
-
Dear Abby: My sister isn t speaking to me because I was speaking to her daughter
-
Horoscope for Aug. 11, 2025: Today will bring clarity and a sense of relief
-
Dear Annie: Widower has feelings for sister-in-law, but is it love?
-
Asking Eric: Nice neighbor sent my wife a sympathy card. But I m not dead yet
