After her boyfriend prepared a surprise party for her and invited his family, despite her specific request not to, the woman ended their 18-month relationship.
The 21-year-old said on Reddit that she and her 22-year-old boyfriend had a generally positive relationship, but that he is very close to his family and frequently texts them in a group chat, sharing every detail of their relationship.
She, on the other hand, identifies as introverted and comes from a smaller family that doesn’t reveal every detail.
I’ve often informed him that, particularly on special occasions, I need some boundaries. She said that despite his constant claims of understanding, he still does things like this.
She stated that she had been hoping to try a posh Italian restaurant for a romantic supper with just the two of them on her 21st birthday last week. She booked the reservation herself and made it apparent to her partner that she wanted the party to be small and private—just the two of them, without any family members or surprises.
He had assured her that he would honor her requests and make it the most memorable night of her life.
However, she was taken aback to discover him at the restaurant with his parents, two sisters, grandmother, aunt, and uncle. Unbeknownst to her, he had invited his family and altered the reservation.
To be honest, I felt ambushed and astonished. She revealed, “At first, I tried to act calm, but on the inside, I was freaking out because this was supposed to be my night and I’m not good in crowds.”
She contacted him to let him know she was furious and felt like he had once again disregarded her limits after she excused herself to the bathroom halfway through the dinner.
He retorted that she should be thankful because his family loved her and that it wasn’t a huge thing. He told her that she had humiliated him by not being more excited during their argument in the car after the supper. Additionally, his mother texted her to tell her that her seeming distance during the dinner had offended them.
The woman broke up with him the following day. I informed him that I couldn’t stay with someone who ignores my needs and takes advantage of me by including his family, she added.
Since then, she has been receiving calls and texts from her ex-boyfriend, who says she is overreacting to what he perceived to be a kind gesture. His relatives became involved as well, calling her a drama queen.
Reddit users strongly backed her choice, despite some in her life believing she was too severe.
No, you’re not going overboard. Although it’s pleasant to be taken by surprise, he should respect your boundaries once you’ve made them clear to him. One commentator emphasized that the day was intended to concentrate on her desires, writing, “Going forward, you would not be able to trust him, and that is important.”
Another user said, “I find it strange that someone would think that bringing their entire family to their partner’s birthday dinner would be a fun surprise, even if you hadn’t specifically requested that no family be included.”
